I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
My cat gives me a boner
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
