You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
