I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
