I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
