You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
