Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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