i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
