this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
