Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
