I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I just googled if crying burns calories
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
