I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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