i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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