so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
