Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
