This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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