I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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