Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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