Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
