Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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