I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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