how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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