The maid of honor just puked.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I've blown a few things in my day
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
