If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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