I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
