it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
