And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
