I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
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