i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
