Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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