i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
