If that was your dad, he is hot
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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