I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
