theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
