When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize
