I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
