Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
