I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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