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The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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