You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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