i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
