Screwed.edu
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
