so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
