$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
