Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
