like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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