first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
