I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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