In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Randomize
