so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
