I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i think i have herpe
just one?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
