Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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