Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
