Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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